Tortured by Negative Looping Thoughts! Please help!

Updated on July 3, 2019 in Good qualities for human
14 on June 29, 2019

Dear Swami,

Om Namo Narayanaya!

Mine is an honest question and I am seeking the possible responses from the learned lot here. First off, would like to thank this medium for striving to resolve nagging doubts. It goes a long way in inspiring confidence in this complicated world. My question follows:

I am facing a problem, medically called, Scrupulosity or Religious OCD. For brevity, it means the mind is stuck in ever looping thoughts of abuse-guilt-anxiety-compulsions-abuse-guilt….. The object is generally God, Acharyas, Saints or such other people of reverence. I know I don’t want these thoughts but cannot control them and their appearance makes me feel sick and I get stuck in those thoughts. In many cases these people of reverence curse me back (in my thoughts) for my abusive thoughts and I get mired in sadness, worrying about what will become of me. This endless looping thoughts have made my life miserable and I seek religious advice or reference to such things from Sastras. Please guide me.

P.S:  I have tried various “Yukthis” to get me out of this, including Saranagati to Lord Narayana. But none seem to bring me relief as the thoughts cloud me and attack the people I respect and them cursing me back.

 

Yours,

Adiyen Dasan

 
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0 on June 30, 2019

Srimathe Rangaramanuja Mahadesikaya Namaha
Srimathe SriVarAha MahAdEsikAya Namaha

Sri Velukkudi Krishnan Swamy Thiruvadigaley Sharanam

EnPaNi 1415
வடு வலி அச்சம் – முக்காலம்

The tag line:
To forget pain one requires happiness to override

Swamy explains in detail

Dasanudasan

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2 on July 1, 2019

Om Namo Narayana

Thanks a lot Swami for your reply. I listened to the audio and got some comfort. I cannot emphasise how much time is wasted on these thoughts and at the end my energy is zapped as well.

Would be great if any reference could be given to Scriptures/ such experiences by other people. I can draw more comfort. I am.not sure if people would have been very open about having such thoughts as it would be considered evil even though he had no intent of nursing these thoughts in the first place.

~ Adiyen Ramanuja Dasan

on July 1, 2019

Srimathe Rangaramanuja Mahadesikaya Namaha
Srimathe SriVarAha MahAdEsikAya Namaha

Sri Velukkudi Krishnan Swamy Thiruvadigaley Sharanam

Dhanyosmi Swamy

There are lots of psychological EnPaNI audios adiyen was about find the recent one.

Adiyen not learned. Just referred relevant

Some one else can refer to Shastrams.

As far as adiyen know :
*Acharyan nindanai koodathu
* BhAgavatha apachAram koodathu

These are hurdles for moksham. Recently listened from learned mama

Dasanudasan

on July 1, 2019

Srimathe Rangaramanuja Mahadesikaya Namaha
Srimathe SriVarAha MahAdEsikAya Namaha

Sri Velukkudi Krishnan Swamy Thiruvadigaley Sharanam

To resolve any BhAgavatha apachAram we have to ask SORRY to the same BhAgavatha in the current lifetime

Else opportunity will be given in subsequent births as adiyen understand. This will be too much beyond my head though.

Dasanudasan

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Sri Ramanuja Munaye Namaha,

Sri Velukkudi Krishnan Guruve Namaha,

Asmadh Sarva Gurubyo Namaha,

 

 

Beautifully said Bhagavata regarding “Acharya Nindanai & Bhagavata Apacharam” a Road block for Sathva Guna Improvement (good thoughts) & road block for Athma Ujjivanam (Moksham/Kainkaryam).

 

Here is a reference from Swami Vedanta Desikan’s “RahasyatrAya saAram Grantham as to why one does the above two sins are due to:

 

a. Athma gunangal illathathaal / ஆத்ம குணங்கள் இல்லாததால் (No demonstration of Athma gunas in daily life) ,

 

b. Indhriya Nigraham illathathaal / இந்திரிய நிக்ரஹம் இல்லாததால் (no control of our SENSES like mind, eyes, ears, nose, hands, mouth etc…like ask anything (questions etc…) to anyone (like Mahans/Acharyas) based on what pops-up in our corrupt mind without even validating if it is worth asking to Mahans/Acharyas. Moreover we don’t even feel EMPATHY for what we have asked to Mahans/Acharyas, but still we keep repeating the same mistake over and over again to satisfy our ego or thoughts instead of following the Poorvacharyas Vachanams etc…,)

 

c. Oraey Koorayin keezh Paampudan Vasippadhaal / ஒரே கூரையின் கீழ் பாம்புடன் வசிப்பதால் [Ourselves “Athma” sleeping in same bed with the Snake (Body), means we are considering body and athma are same and feeding ONLY the bodily ego needs by keeping the Athma in heat]

*********************

 

Anyone who has evil/vulgar thoughts by MIND or by Speech or by Physical behaviour, then we are termed as “Mlecchan“. But the good solution that our Poorvachayas say is, if such Mleccha like us, 

1. Later Repent for our past mistakes (apacharam),

2. Taking oath to Stop doing such mistakes (apacharam) further,

3. And we devote ourselves in service of ALMIGHTY SUPREME GOD through our own faith Hinduism or Christianity or Islam, then we are called as A BAKTHA (DEVOTEE).

 

 

So we DONT need to focus on comforting ourselves by looking if others also have similar evil thoughts or not, since it doesn’t resolve ones own personal issue. Instead the focus should be on how to control these, which will bring the actual comfort to ourselves.

 

*********************

So how to control these three things a,b,c are by doing:

* ThiruAradhanai to Perumal daily,

* Dhyanam on Acharya Thirumeni daily with OPEN eyes like looking at Swami Ramanujar vigraham or photo for few minutes or more,

* Acharyan Kainkaryam,

* Satvika Shravanam,

* Satvika Satsangam,

* Neecha Bhaavam and

* following the 8 characterics of How a Bhaktha should behave as mentioned in earlier thread as per Poorvacharyas vachanam

 

8 TRUE CHARACTERISTICS OF A DEVOTEE (BHAKTHA),

மிலேச்சன்னும் பக்தன்ஆனால்”.

  1. என்னுடைய பக்த ஜனங்கள் பக்கல் வாத்சல்யம் உள்ளவனாய்,
  2. என்னுடைய ஆராதனத்தில் உகப்பு உள்ளவனாய்,
  3. தானே ஆராதிக்கயும்,
  4. ஏன் பக்கல் டம்பம் அற்று இருக்கையும்,
  5. ஏன் கதையை கேட்ட்கும் இடத்தில், பக்தியும்
  6. பக்தி கார்யமான ஸ்வர நேத்ர அங்கங்களில் விஹாரமும்
  7. என்னையே எப்போதும் நினைக்கையும்,
  8. என்னை ப்ரயோஜனாந்திர கொள்ளாது ஒழிகையும்,

https://www.kinchit.org/dharma-sandeha/thread/8-true-characteristics-of-a-devotee-bhaktha-மிலேச்சன்னும்-பக

* Etc…..

* Etc…

 

Once we do all these regularly, then the above three things a,b,c gets in to control automatically due to BhagavAt Anugraham, and finally Sathva Guna improves (no more evil/vulgar/egoistic thoughts will pop-up by Mind or by Speech or by Physical, it gets settled down), and finally our “Athma Ujjivanam (Moksham) escape from Samsaram like a rocket🚀” happens due to the JagadhaAcharyar Swami Ramanujar’s KRUPAI in SAME BIRTH…🙏🎇

 

 

All these are applicable to each one of us.

So instead of just asking a question, and leaving the answer in air (without actually implementing in our life by following it), will only drown us in this Samsaram. So let’s review ourselves and see, if atleast we started following the answers of the questions that we have asked so far. If not, let’s start following first and if we doubhts in following it, then we can further extended ourselves to ask a question based on the doubts politely before proceeding further. Those who ask questions for the sake of time-pass without any intention of  following it ,will never get an answer from Mahans/Acharyas, as it is not worth to share Poorvacharyas Golden Words to some stray people.

 

 

So let’s follow/implement/Accept Poorvacharyas Vachanams in our life first which is known to us through Swami’s ThiruvAdi. So to show grattitude, let’s keep saying:

“Sri Velukkudi Krishnan Swami Thiruvadigalaey Sharanam,

Swami ThiruvAdiyil KankaryamE Parama Purushartham”,

 

 

Adiyen Sri Velukkudi Krishna Dasan,

Uyya Oraey Vazhi UdayavAr ThiruvAdi,

Sarvam SriKrishnarpanam Asthu.

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1 on July 2, 2019

Dear Ramanuja Dasan swamy,

my humble namaskarams to you. From your posting it is evident that you actually have deep regard for acharyas and Perumal. That you have come to this forum seeking solution further confirms that you are indeed attached to acharyas and duly respect them. Given this fact, it requires great courage to come forward and share your medical condition. I deeply respect your effort.

When we go to a doctor with cold, the doctor first diagnoses the root cause, say, a bacterial infection. He gives medicine to remove the infection. Simultaneously, there is fever; fever is a symptom and consequence of the original cause (infection). So he gives a medicine to bring down the temperature. There is also body pain. So he gives pain killer to tolerate the pain. In addition, he prescribes some life-style systems to follow – drink plenty of warm water; take rest; eat this kind of food; avoid that kind of food and so on. In this way, any medical condition can be addressed at multiple levels; it is important to address the root cause; this is what actually cures the illness. this can not be missed; the other medicines are helpful in practically dealing with the illness condition in daily life.

In this reply, let me please first explain my understanding of your medical condition; then let me share what is the ‘primary medicine’ to cure the ‘disease’, and what are the ;secondary medicines’ and ‘life style habits’ that will help us deal with the ‘illness’ condition.

Step 1: Diagnosis: In Bhagavad Gita 3.42 it is revealed that the “sense are superior to dull matter; mind (manas) is higher to the senses, intelligence (budhdhi) is higher than the mind, and the soul is even higher than the intelligence”. In your case, you (the soul) is fixed yourself at acharyas and Perumal; your intelligence is clear about this. However, you mind is having dual nature. Sometimes it is in line with the budhdhi, and other times is rebellious. Your mind has two roles – Dr. Jerkyl and Mr.Hyde. (although clinically ‘Split Personality’ is not the same as ‘OCD’, in this context it is helpful to see it this way. You are trying hard to get rid of the Hyde, but that part of mind sometimes takes dominance.

Step2: Why does this happen and what is the solution?

It is difficult to exactly pin point the reason; but it could be something like this: May be in your last life you had be associated with people who were very offensive to acharyas or may be you yourself had that tendency. But towards the end of your life you realised your mistake and desired to take the pure path. As a result of your purification towards the end of your life you are given a wonderful opportunity in this life to take shelter of acharya and attain Vaikuntam at the end of this life itself. However, the effect of the bad samskaras of wrong association in last life is also tagging along and making your daily life miserable.

Solution: In Ramanujacharya’s charitram we come across two instances where a person’s intelligence is overtaken by undesirable forces. One is the Chozha princess and other is the princess of Maharaja Visnu Vardhan. In one case the princess was cured by receiving the dust from the lotus feet of Ramanujacharya on her head, and in the other case the princess was cured by taking his caranamrta. 

In your case, the primary medicine to cure the ‘infection’ from last life is to daily take Caranamrtam / Sri Pada Theertam. In my personal experience I can vouch this is the bestest of all medicines to cure not just diseases but even karmic effects from past. So, I request you, please learn from your acharyan or senior sishyas on how you can take Sri-Pada-Theertham everyday.

Step3: Some ‘secondary medicines’ and life style suggestions to deal with the illness condition:

Since you are clearly fixed at the lotus feet of acharyas and Perumal, please stop identifying yourself with the Mr.Hyde that is troubling you. Identify yourself only with the Jerkyl part who is a beautiful devotee. Doing so will help you make this nature stronger and stronger. The ‘Hyde’ is the effect of your past sins; the Hyde is not yourself. you can regret your past sins, but should not identify yourself that personality, because you have in reality come beyond that and become a pure personality (Jerkyl). 

The reason I emphasis this is, when you wrongly identify yourself with Hyde, it puts you in guilt and then guilt pulls you into the vicious cycle. So it is very important for you to avoid getting into this guilt trap. Suppose the Hyde personality starts shouting louder and louder that you are not able to focus on anything, simply stop doing everything, take a pen and paper and start writing SRIRAMAJAYAM. Just keep on writing how much ever loud the Hyde may shout. Just ignore him and whatever little focus you are able to gather that much you focus on Sriramajayam. When you keep doing this, Hanuman will take care of the Hyde.

Okay, it is one thing to make Hyde weaker and weaker; but simultaneously it is important to make Jerkyl stronger and stronger. While walking if you are slipping to the left you balance it by shifting yourself to the right; while driving if the vehicle drifts to one side, you consciously steer it to the other direction. To nullify the negative, you do more of the positive. In your case, in your daily life you must daily glorify acharyas and Perumal. For example, you can hear our Swamy’s lectures where he glorifies acharyas and Perumal; while hearing, please focus and take notes (this is recommended by our Swamy). After hearing for 10-15 minutes, take 5 minutes to express the glories in your own words. If you have a friend to share you may speak to them. Or else simply sit in front of Perumal and share with him what a beautiful lecture you heard today. Routinely doing this positive will make the negative weaker and weaker, and eventually get rid of it. (if you feel like, you may even email me a short write up of your glorification everyday, my friend.)

Please recite Sahasranaamam everyday. For one who takes shelter of Naama japa, the effect of past karma will be burnt to ashes. (தீயினில் தூசாகும்). Your health condition which is result of past karma can not disturb you.

While walking eating and other daily routines, let ‘Rama’ nama run in your mind. Then Hanuman will always be with you. In the initial days even if Hyde is shouting the opposite you simply ignore him and continue with your japa (either writing SriRamajayam or chanting the names of Perumal). Very soon you will be completely your pure self, fully functional in your service to your acharyan.

My sincere prayers to acharyas and Perumal that you soon become free from the effects of past karma, and be nicely situated in your kainkaryam flowing like a continuous strand of oil.

adiyen dasan.

 

 

on July 3, 2019

Srimathe Ramanujaya Namaha.

Thank you Swami.

adiyen Neechan.

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0 on July 2, 2019

One more note: one way you can clearly recognize that the Hyde is a false personality is that he claims the acharyas are cursing back! Acharyas NEVER EVER engage in such tit-for-tat. They are so merciful. An baby may bite the mother and cause her pain; may pass stool on her and dirty her; but she never curses the child. In some rare case a mother may do so, but acharyas never do so. They may show some apparent angry nature when someone is hurting Perumal and Thayar (like recently in case of Vairamuthu). But when someone abuses themselves, they do not retaliate at all. 

So, if the Hyde abusing acharyas and claiming they are cursing back, that itself is proof that he is bluffing and you need not the take it seriously. Simply laugh at him, and move on with cultivating Jerkly.

adiyen dasan.

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0 on July 2, 2019

Srimathe Rangaramanuja Mahadesikaya Namaha
Srimathe SriVarAha MahAdEsikAya Namaha

Directly Answered in EnPaNi 1427

மனதில் வரும் தேவையற்ற சூழல் எண்ணங்களை எப்படி போக்க?
dhanyosmi
Dasanudasan

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0 on July 2, 2019

Dhanyosmi
KongilPiratti Swamy and Kambandasan SwAmy for follow ups.

Yes we all.get to such vicious cycle and adiyen too not an exception. Mind is uncontrollable

Dasanudasan

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0 on July 2, 2019
Bhagavad Gita 6.34 and 6.35
Arjuna uvaca:
cañcalaṁ hi manaḥ kṛṣṇa
pramāthi balavad dṛḍham
tasyāhaṁ nigrahaṁ manye
vāyor iva su-duṣkaram
 
Translation: 
Arjuna said: “The mind is restless, turbulent, obstinate and very strong, O Kṛṣṇa, and to subdue it, I think, is more difficult than controlling the wind”.
 
śrī-bhagavān uvāca
asaṁśayaṁ mahā-bāho
mano durnigrahaṁ calam
abhyāsena tu kaunteya
vairāgyeṇa ca gṛhyate
 
Translation: 
Bhagavan said: O mighty-armed son of Kunti, it is undoubtedly very difficult to curb the restless mind, but it is possible by suitable practice and by detachment.
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Sri Ramanuja Munaye Namaha,
Sri Velukkudi Krishnan Swami Guruve Namaha,

 

 

Nandri Vikram Bhagavata and Kamba Dasan Bhagavata for the Satvika references from Poorvacharyas Vachanams.

 

 

Kotana Koti Dhanda Pranaamam to Sri Velukkudi Krishnan Swami ThiruvAdi for Enpani #1427 solution is to practice (follow), implement by doing Kainkaryams……….

 

யான் பெற்ற இன்பம் பெறுக இவ்வையகம்
‘Let others also receive the same happiness that one is experiencing”.

*****************************

 

Dear Ramanuja Dasan Bhagavata,

Acharyas never curse anyone irrespective of our behaviour. Their focus is primarily to uplift us from this samsaran to get Bhagavat Anugraham, since our Acharyas are “KrupaMaatra Prasannacharyas (only with Causeless Mercy) as said by Swami in GuruParamparai upanyasam.

 

It is BhagavAtas mind boggling thoughts that makes Bhagavata think as if the Acharyas will curse back. It is not correct.,

 

Adding the crisp from Swami’s upanyasams:

* just keep chanting Bhagavatas own Samasrayana Acharyas “Thaniyan” without fail every day and

* keep chanting “GuruParamparai”….

* and keep visiting BhagavAtas own Acharya and ask for any kainkaryam. First, Acharya will say generously that, please be in your place and do ThiruAradhanai to Perumal, but Bhagavata to say back that “Everything is going well due to Swami Ramanujar’s Anugraham received through Devareer’s ThiruvAdi”, so please give some Kainkaryam to Adiyen.

* then Acharya will give Sree Padha Theertham and give Arul and some kainkaryam based on BhagavAtas  Yatha Shakthi.  Keep following what Swami has said in Enpani 1427 with Acharya Krupai, all odd thoughts will be burnt in fire as Andal Nachiyaar says in Thiruppavai “Theeyinil Thoosagum”..…..

* Please dont go to any doctor, if you have such thoughts, since they will brand Bhagavata with some weird name disease as Scrupulosity or Religious OCD etc..since they themselves don’t have solution for this except giving a name to it. Everyone have to come to Acharyan ThiruvAdi only for such Manus (Mind) sanchalam. 

* Swami has said closed eyes Dhyanam as said in Bhagavat gita is for high level Rishis who already have controlled their mind. We can try, but it will take time to yield results. So Swami says in Enpani, if we close our eyes, we will get same thoughts again. So just do Swami Ramanujar Thirumeni Dyanam by looking at Swami’s Vigraham or Photo with OPEN eyes, as Swami says in GuruParamparai upanyasam.

 

The more we see Swami Ramanujar Vigraham, the more clean and clear and brighter 🌞 we will become.

* Listen to Alwar and Acharyas Vaibhavam upanyasams.

 

Adiyaargal Vaazha ArangaNagar Vaazha, Kadal Soozndha Mannu ULAGHAM Vaazha, Sri Velukkudi Krishnan Swamiye Innum Oru Nootraandu Irumm.

🙏🙏🙏🙏

 

Adiyen Sri Velukkudi Krishna Dasan,
Uyya Oraey Vazhi UdayavAr ThiruvAdi,
Sarvam SriKrishnarpanam Asthu

on July 3, 2019

Srimathe Ramanujaya Namaha.

Thank you   Swami.

adiyen Neechan.

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0 on July 3, 2019

Srimathe Ramanujaya Namaha.

Thank you for raising such questions.

adiyen Neechan.

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