Namaskaram Swami,

I have done my graduation and i have been staying alone in a house for 4 years. My parents cannot live with me as my father is employed in another town.  I am having Krishna at my home but i am not able to serve his lotus feet on daily basis. I am finding it very difficult to show my constant devotion(though i love him more than anything else) towards Krishna . Though, i have shortened my friends circle to spend time with Krishna yet my mind deny to execute the duties constantly or showing my continuous love towards him. I went thru complete Kannanin aaramudhu. I practised karma yoga for a month and left. Now my mind denies to listen to the discourses again. I am following proper food practises(nei-vedhiyam) and channelizing my mind to a good extend, but somehow i fail to keep connected to Krishna constantly and not doing my duties towards him regularly .I am finding it difficult to switch over from software job(there is a need to mention software as my mind gets tired after work) ,house hold work, bhakti towards Krishna.The failure to serve him on daily basis gives me regret and it kills me for long time. I am emotionally suffering( i am reciting gita sloka 18th chapter, 66 verse and i keep on thinking that i am atman – and – my body is not me . This helps me to some extent).  I am even delaying to do pancha samskaram, fearing that, i may be irregular to serve lotus feet Krishna in the future too. Only positive thing is that, i somehow feel, i can achieve continuous devotion towards him after relentless pursuit in few years. But , i worry that, i may spoil my health, bonding with my family may suffer, before attaining that devotion. Please guide me, as there may be several boys and girls who may be suffering like me.  Thanks in advance.

Adiyen,

Swamynathan.