Confusion

Updated on July 5, 2022 in General
50 on June 30, 2022

Srimathe ramanujaya namaha

Adiyen has doubt, does shastras prohibit girl going to job? If so, is it applicable in current generation. So much of money is been invested by Girl parents for education, does she has no right to help family financially going job. Adiyen was said by one of the bhagavada that, during marraige husband takes oath saying in front of Agni that he will take care of her. That’s okay, but that does it mean a girl must not work. And what if situation changes in husband family, if situation forces to go for job she has to go. But getting job is not that easy. Company, school, college asks for experience in job only then they will give offer letter. Job Experience illae na, job epdi kidaikum in tough situation how to take care of family. Adiyen is confused on this.Adiyen would like to get answer for this, if adiyen had asked anything wrong kshamika prathikiren.

 
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0 on June 30, 2022

Srimathe Rangaramanuja Mahadesikaya Namaha

Irukaradhai vaithu vaazha pazhagi kolla vendum.

Dasanudasan

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5 on June 30, 2022

Srimathe Rangaramanuja Mahadesikaya Namaha

Today’s situation. The intention is good. We all need money no doubt.

It starts with financial security. Family welfare. Ends with pleasing the Job not the family

The priority changes. Ends up in divorce.

A man or woman both need to prioritise family than anything else in this world.

Dasanudasan

on June 30, 2022

Adiyen, dhanyosmi for reply. Adiyen is not expecting for luxurious life but for safety., Family situation etc.

on June 30, 2022

It was for everyone not just Deviyar. Adiyen have seen many (both men & women) losing on family but boasts of professional success. What’s the use?

Dasanudasan

on June 30, 2022

Nothing wrong going to job.

One line answer. Availability to family & kids is of utmost importance. We don’t know exactly how much money will make us happy & end up in wild goose chase. We should not be afraid of putting leave. Coming to Upanyasam. Acharyan used to say.

“Prioritise sampradhayam and come to me. Out leave”

on June 30, 2022

*Put leave

on June 30, 2022

Ippo na wrong nu sonna yaaravadhu kekka porela?
Summa edhukku kelvi kekkanum?
Earning money is supplimentary. Family stabilization is the main.

Husband assisting wife’s business or wife assisting husband’s business also okay.

Ultimate aim is to “Happily live ever after”.

I am cancelling most of my travel making family the priority. It is up to the individual.

Foreign poi dhan sambadhikkanum nu avasiyam illa.
Dasanudasan

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5 on June 30, 2022

NamaskAram, Amma! 

While learned people can comment on the commandment of sAstram regarding this subject, adiyen would like to share my perspective.

Men and Women are like yin& yang (complementary forces) balancing our material and spiritual journey (so-called life) until we reach our safe destinations.

While one force takes care of support through external means, the other force balances it by maintaining the domestic needs.

Any disturbance in this equilibrium usually creates disharmony.

Easily said than done, in a practical situation, there are so many challenges for both the entities to maintain this equilibrium.

Since this problem can be judged only based on a case-to-case analysis, nobody can give a universally meaningful solution.

The core of your problem should be discussed with some unbiased relatives/friends/well-wishers (having faith in dharma sAstram too) and can come to a certain judgment.

– Adiyen

on June 30, 2022

Why can’t men balance family & women go to job?

on June 30, 2022

Who said universal solution not possible?

According to shastra “Couple should not be seperated even for job”

“Udhyoga nimiththa kuda piriya kudathu”

Read in Sri Ranganatha Paduka

Dasanudasan

on June 30, 2022

*Nimithama kuda

on June 30, 2022
Why can’t men balance family & women go to job?From vikraminside

Yes, there are so many such families adiyen has come across. It is only their situation that determines everything!

Who said universal solution not possible?From vikraminside

A universal solution is not possible because we don’t know what kind of problems individuals undergo. e.g., I know of a family where the head of the family (man) is a pious Gaudiya Vaishnavite with two children. He doesn’t have a proper job and does his own business for a meager revenue. He is not even interested in going for any job. Now how would such a family survive if we talk about dharma sAstram and command that women are not allowed to earn a livelihood? Hence it is better to leave it to the individuals to consult with their good acquaintances and take a wise decision.

– Adiyen

on June 30, 2022

” women are not allowed to earn a livelihood ” where is it stated?

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0 on June 30, 2022
  1. Kings used to employ women for the services in his courtyard and palace. In the chapter, King’s duties and conduct,  Manusmriti mentions that

“For women employed in the royal service and for menial servants, let him fix a daily maintenance, in proportion to their position and to their work.”

  1. MahaBharatam states of an incident in which a lady sells நாவல் பழம்.
  2. There may be some women who assists her husband in his business.

Hence, employment of women are not new, they are mentioned in puranas / shastras. When the need arises, one has to do that.

Going for job for women is based on individual’s need and passion. The present need can be judged and can make decision. But the future requirement will be difficult to foresee. Only individual knows about their situation and decide weighing various parameters.

There is an enpani audio replying for a querry w.r.to going to job.

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5 on June 30, 2022

How sensible is this narrative?

“The core of your problem should be discussed with some unbiased relatives/friends/well-wishers (having faith in dharma sAstram too) and can come to a certain judgment.”

Who is unbiased? How well wishers be unbiased?

If I want you to be good, i am biased in favour of you.

Let’s not confuse people. Having faith in Dharma shAstram is biased in favour of shAstram.

A judge is biased in favour of his own country’s law

There is nothing called “unbiased”

ShAstram is telling for our good only.

Serndhu iru nu sonna thappa?

Serndhu irukanumna velaya vidunum, endraal, velaiyai vidanum.

Accham madam naanam payirppu

Enbadhu ‘penmai’ endru dhairiyamaai solla mudiyuma?

Sir, namma ishta padi shastram valaikarom

Velaikku Pogadha nu sonna anti-gender? Branding

The core issue is not job but how we prioritise our individual interests over family is today’s exact problem

Enakku idhu venum
Enakku adhu venum
Naa yoga pandren
Enakku peace venum

Naan Enakku Naan Enakku

I heard one story, looks like someone asked Buddha

“I want peace”

Buddha replied: Delete I & Want you get Peace.

Dasanudasan

on June 30, 2022
“The core of your problem should be discussed with some unbiased relatives/friends/well-wishers (having faith in dharma sAstram too) and can come to a certain judgment.”From vikraminside

When you want a desperate solution for a problem, you can depend upon your next-of-kins, friends, and well-wishers only.

Otherwise, we will be left with making decisions independently – whether good or bad. That’s it!

– Adiyen

on June 30, 2022
ShAstram is telling for our good only.From vikraminside

Who said sAstram recommends wrong things? First of all, we don’t even know whether sAstram prohibits women to go for a job under any circumstances.

The point here is why it is difficult to follow, given that we (each of us) face a multitude of problems.

These are subjective issues where a unique solution is next to impossible.

Vikram Swami, idhu onnum maha pAdhagam illai !

– Adiyen

on June 30, 2022

Not subjective, question was objective, is women always dependant on men?

shAstram does not prohibit women from earning on their own

May be devareer thought so

The root of the question comes because, “why should I be dependant on husband” ,

She clearly told “Husband will take care” in marriage mantram. It’s husband’s duty to protect as she is coming from another family.

In today’s world, financial independence means , getting freed from husband’s clutches. That’s where it will lead to.

” Na sambadhikkiren, unna edhukku kekkanum”?

Appo husband kku Panam vechu dhan madhippa?
Mutual co-existence ecosystem is completely ruined.

There was a movie in Tamil where Actor Muthuraman would want to exceed in earning than wife Jayalalithaa. That picture clearly depicts men’s attitude that’s because of fear women (wife) will overtake men (hubby)

This is my opinion.

Going to job or not should be left to husband’s & wife’s mutual decision. Third party involvement is dangerous.

Dasanudasan

on June 30, 2022

“Udhyogam purusha Lakshanam” – Adiyen heard some where.
Dasanudasan

on June 30, 2022

True! But in families where this doesn’t happen, what should we do?

– Adiyen

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3 on June 30, 2022

Vikram Swami,

So you are concluding that there is no solution for such a question! This is what I also said.

We cannot see the world only through our lens and comment. Everyone has their problems to face. 

– Adiyen

on June 30, 2022

This is not even a problem to give solution Swamy.

This is a condition.

The whole idea revolves around “Anyonyam”. This is the universal recommendation.
Dasanudasan

on June 30, 2022

Srivats Swamy,
May be devareer’s lens is soiled. Adiyen shared my clarity of thought.
I can take example from my own family
I left to wife’s choice. I will earn to sustain a decent living & won’t let the burden on my wife.
Dasanudasan

on June 30, 2022

Swami,

You are taking the example of your family and stating an opinion. Now, how can you visualise the same scenario elsewhere? This is what I precisely meant by viewing through your lens only and offering an opinion.

On a lighter note, ungaludaya trademark answer ‘romba paaththa mudiyaadhu’ yengira badhil inge yen porundhadu??

– Adiyen

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2 on June 30, 2022

Then what about cases where a Husband forces his wife to go for a job?

on June 30, 2022

That’s stupidity Swamy
We can’t change those men. Why he married in first place I don’t know.
Dasanudasan

on June 30, 2022

I know it’s easier to comment but to me forcing is wrong.
Dasanudasan

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2 on June 30, 2022

” Otherwise, we will be left with making decisions independently – whether good or bad. That’s it!” –

Adiyen beleive in this philosophy,

GOOD OR BAD IT IS MY DECISION

Dasanudasan

on June 30, 2022
GOOD OR BAD IT IS MY DECISIONFrom vikraminside

I do concur. But we have a wide spectrum of people with different levels of confidence. Those people, who are not confident about making decisions independently, have no other go except to discuss with their acquaintances.

– Adiyen

on July 1, 2022

Ok Swamy

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1 on June 30, 2022
And what if situation changes in husband family, if situation forces to go for job she has to go. But getting job is not that easy.From Anjali RK

Quoting from sahodari’s msg, she is worried about a situation where she might be forced to go for a job eventually. In such a case, there must be a continuity of experience, without which, securing a good job will remain a desire only.

Isn’t she practical about today’s job scenario? 

– Adiyen

on July 1, 2022

Srimathe Rangaramanuja Mahadesikaya Namaha

Risk can happen anytime. Preparedness is the name of the game. If situation forces, husband is okay, then going to job to stabilize family should be fine.

We have to see at that point in time what is best. We cannot conclude, job is hard to get. Mutual decision prevails..

(Women) Job poi dhan kuduthanam pannanumna that life won’t be interesting at all. We will be like work horse.

Kalyanam karthigai pandigai time to kids won’t be there.

If I remember Velukkudi Krishnan Swamy, show your kids life & death. Put leave to school & attend functions.

The idea is to face life. Current education teaches students to commit suicide for low marks.

Damodar Dheekshitar Swamy says “Teach children to face life”

Same applies here. Face life come what may. With Acharyan Anugraham.

Dasanudasan

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2 on June 30, 2022
Not subjective, question was objective, is women always dependant on men?From vikraminside

The problem quoted by this sahodari doesn’t fall under this question? 

– Adiyen

on July 1, 2022

Every sahodari has this question. Why we see it as slavery? If there is mutual love such questions won’t even arise.

Sambadhikkardhu thavaru illai but husband consent venuma? Is thavaru’. Without husband’s consent individual decision will spoil family integrity.

Dasanudasan

on July 5, 2022

Everyone’s life is not same. Sometimes people reject if dependent much.. Even husband says and does that. Not everyone’s family same.

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