What is married life mentioned in the sastram ? 

Updated on February 9, 2021 in Good qualities for human
27 on February 4, 2021

1. The purpose of marriage is, both husband and wife need to engage in devotional activities, doing dharmam which is mentioned in the scriptures. 2. Parents need to involve their childrens in devotional activities. They need to give only spiritual knowledge and studies. Brahmin need to study sankrit veda and non Brahmins need to learn Draavida veda. This is the real role of the parents. Vishnu puranam says Material studies are useless. Whatever subjects which are related to Vasudeva are useful.     


Nowadays people are sending their kids to schools and colleges for just material knowledge and wealth. And the kids are mingling with all normal classmates and the purpose of life is lost. People are getting married and not following the principles of marriage. Then what’s the point of getting married. If we are interested in making our kids only for devotional activities, please marry. Otherwise It is good to follow Brahmacharya ashram. There are conditions in the grihastha ashram and Brahmachariam ashram.     


Note: This message is not my own thoughts. Whatever it is mentioned in the scriptures I am sharing and the intention is not to hurt anyone. We need to have better clarity on Marriage.   Jai Sri Ram…!!!    

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Kaliyan swamy, namaskaram.

Thank you for sharing about the purpose of marriage. Yes, we should engage in all aspects of our life with focus on the goal of life. Otherwise marriage or no marriage it will all lead to accumulation of karma.

On a different note, you have mentioned

Parents need to involve their childrens in devotional activities. They need to give only spiritual knowledge and studies. Brahmin need to study sankrit veda and non Brahmins need to learn Draavida veda. This is the real role of the parents. Vishnu puranam says Material studies are useless. From Kaliyan

Permit me to comment on this. Even in the vedas there are so many things that are not purely devotional. Many aspects of vedas guide us how to lead our material life; so one may argue such studies are also ‘material studies’.

So, I believe it is not appropraite to say material studies are useless. ANY studies that does not help us cultivate devotion towards Perumal is useless. Everyone of us has to engage in some occupation or other to sustain this soul and body together. For that we have to gain some knowledge and learn some skills; this will enable us to lead a simple life with focus on cultivation of devotion to Perumal. Such knowledge and skill, even though it is within the material realm, is good, because it helps us practise devotion as long as this body and soul are meant to be together. Thank you.

adiyen dasan.


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0 on February 5, 2021

There are many levels of devotees. Here i have mentioned the devotees who have interested to attain vaikuntham in this birth and thinking to spend the rest of the life only in Kaingkaryam. Mumukshu.. For mumukshu , material studies are useless.  

For your kind information, Sri vaishnava couples who are interested to lead only devotional service in divya desam, can contact Velukkudi krishnan swami. Kinchit karam trust will facilitate. 

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कर्मणैव हि संसिद्धिमास्थिता जनकादय: |
लोकसंग्रहमेवापि सम्पश्यन्कर्तुमर्हसि || 20||
यद्यदाचरति श्रेष्ठस्तत्तदेवेतरो जन: |
स यत्प्रमाणं कुरुते लोकस्तदनुवर्तते || 21||

(from 3rd chapter, Srimad Bhagavad Gita) 



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0 on February 5, 2021

1. The purpose of marriage is, both husband and wife need to engage in devotional activities, doing dharmam which is mentioned in the scriptures. 2. Parents need to involve their childrens in devotional activities. They need to give only spiritual knowledge and studies. Brahmin need to study sankrit veda and non Brahmins need to learn Draavida veda. This is the real role of the parents. Vishnu puranam says Material studies are useless. Whatever subjects which are related to Vasudeva are useful.     

From Kaliyan

Please allow me to correct an understanding here. Dravida vedam is not meant for non-brahmins only. It is meant for all varnas, including brahmins. 

– Adiyen


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0 on February 5, 2021

I believe, so long as one knows the language properly, both Vedas can be studied by any interested and enthusiastic person who wants to know about Him. Shastras may have different point, I do not know. But, I strongly believe He will not reject. He only wants interest on Him from us.

This is my personal opinion.

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பெரியோர்களே தாய்மார்களே, உங்க எல்லாருக்கும் அண்ணனுடைய வணக்கம்,


அப்புறம் படிப்பு,

நமக்கே மனசாட்சி உருத்தணும் கலியன் அண்ணே இந்த பௌதிக படிப்பு உபயோகம் இல்லன்னு சொல்லும்போது. ஆன்மிக படிப்பு தான் உயர்ந்தது அண்ணே, அது எல்லாருக்கும் தெரியும், அதுக்கு பௌதிக படிப்பை மட்டமா சொல்ல கூடாது. மோக்ஷம் போணும்நு இருக்கிறவங்க கண்ணன் கடவுள்கிட்ட கேட்டு சீக்கிரம் கிளம்ப வேண்டியது தானே, அத விட்டுட்டு, சோறு பொட்ட படிப்பை இகழலாமா அண்ணே.

ஆன்மிக படிப்பு படிக்க போனவங்களுக்ககு, பணம் உதவி  பௌதிக படிப்பு படிச்சவங்க தானே குடுப்பாங்க அண்ணே. அது மாதிரி, பௌதிக படிப்புல இருக்கிறவங்களுக்கு ஆன்மிகம் படிச்சவங்க தானே இறை அருள் பத்தி சொல்ல முடியும். என்ன அண்ணே சொல்றது. இப்படி தான அண்ணே சமுதாயம் பின்னி பிணைக்க பட்டு இருக்கு.

பௌதிக படிப்பு படிச்சவங்க ஆன்மிக படிப்பை இகழ கூடாது, அது போல ஆன்மிக படிப்பு படிச்சவங்க பௌதிக படிப்பை இகழ கூடாது,



அப்புறம் வேதம்,

பெரும்பாலான தமிழ் சொற்களை தங்களுடையது இல்லை என்று சமசுகிருதத்திற்கு  தாரைவார்க்கும் பெரும் குணம் படைத்தவர்கள் நாம். இந்த வரிசையில் வேதம் என்ற பொருளாழமிக்க தமிழ் சொல்லை சமசுகிருத மொழிக்கு உரியதாக தாரைவார்த்துவிட்டு தமிழ் தொண்டு ஆற்றுகிறோம். வேதம் என்பது சமசுகிருத சொல் இல்லை என்பதனை இந்த பதிவில் பார்ப்போம்.

வேதம் என்ற சொல் தமிழில்லை அது சமசுகிருதச் சொல் ஏனென்றால், சமசுகிருதத்தில் நான்கு வேதம் (ரிக், யஜுர், சாம, அதர்வண) இருக்கிறது அதனால் வேதம் தமிழ்ச்சொல் இல்லை என்று படித்தவர்களும் கூறுகின்றனர்

முதலில் வேதம் என்ற சொல்லுக்கு உரிய தமிழ் சொல்லாகக் கருதப்படும் மறை என்ற சொல்லை பார்ப்போம். மறை என்றால் மறைத்து வைப்பது என்ற பொருளின் அடிப்படையில் தோன்றிய சொல். சமசுகிருத வேதத்தை பிறாமணர்கள் தங்களுக்குள் அனைவரும் படிக்கலாம் என்று வைத்துள்ளனர் ( மற்ற வர்ணத்தினர் படிக்கக்கூடாது என்பதற்கான காரணம் மறை என்பதாலல்ல). இன்று வேற்று மதத்தவர்களும் தங்களின் புனித நூல்களை மறை என்று கூறிவருகின்றனர் , மறை பரப்புதல் என்று தங்களின் நூல்களை மக்களிடையே பரப்பி வருகின்றனர். மறை மறையாக இருக்கும் வரைதான் அது மறை இல்லையேல் அதுவும் ஒரு செய்தியே. அதே போல் திருக்குறளை மறை என்றுதான் குறிப்பிடுகின்றனர்

வேதம் என்ற சொல் நமது அன்றாட பயன்பாட்டில் வெகுவாக உள்ளது உதாரணமாக வேது பிடித்தல் , நெய் வேதியம் (நெய்யினால் வேதிக்கப்பட்டது -> நெய்யினால் சமைக்கப்பட்டது) .


நமக்கு ஏப்படி உயர்ந்த ஆழ்வார்கள் திராவிட பாடல்கள் தமிழ் வேதமோ, அதுபோல தமிழ் கிறிஸ்துவர்கள் அவர்களுடைய புத்தகத்தை தமிழ் வேதம் என்று தான் சொல்லுகிறார்கள். அது நிதர்சனம்.

வேதம் என்பது எல்லாருக்கும் பொதுவானது, அது சம்ஸ்கிருதமோ அல்லது தமிழோ அல்லது வெற மொழியிலே இருந்தாலும் செரி, அதுல கடவுளை நோக்கி அமைந்துள்ளது என்று பெரியோர்கள் சொல்லுவார்கள்.



அப்புறம் கல்யாணம்,

நம்ம வாழ்க்கையில யார முன் உதாரணமாக வட்சு இருக்குமோ, அது மாதிரி நம்ம கல்யாணம் நகடும்

இராம கடவுளை கும்பிட்டா, ஒழுக்கமா பெரியவங்க பாத்து சிதை அக்கா போன்ற நல்ல பொண்ணா பாத்து கல்யாணம் பண்ணி வப்பாங்க. அப்புறம் ஜாலியா காட்டுக்கு ஓடி போகலாம் (தனி குடுத்தினம் மாதிரி)

கண்ணன் கடவுளை கும்பிட்டா, நம்ம இஷ்டத்துக்கு காதல் பண்ணி பொண்ணை தூக்கிட்டு போயி கல்யாணம் செய்யலாம், அவர் ருக்மிணி தாயை கல்யாணம் செஞ்சது மாதிரி.


கல்யாணம் தான் கட்டிகிட்டு ஓடி போலாமா (இராமர் மாதிரி),


ஓடி போயி கல்யாணம் தான் கட்டிக்கிலாம (கண்ணன் மாதிரி).


இதுக்கு போயி எதுக்கு அண்ணே இவளவ்வு குழப்பம்.

ஸ்கூல்லுல குழந்தை பழக்க வழக்கம் சரி இல்லன்னா, போயி வாத்தியார் கிட்ட சொல்லுங்க, இல்லான்னா நம்ம குழந்தைய நல்ல பக்தனாக வளதுங்க, அப்புறம் மத்த குழந்தை நம்ம குழந்தை கிட்ட பழகி நல்லவனா மாருவாங்க, அது விட்டுட்டு எதுக்கு அண்ணே இவ்வளவு சலிப்பு.


மனஸ லேசா பஞ்சு மாதிரி வட்சுக்கங்க அண்ணே, ரொம்ப இருக்கமா இருந்தா தண்ணில பொட்ட பஞ்சு மாதிரி நம்ம மனஸ் ஆயிரும் அண்ணே.


பெரியவங்க படிச்சவங்க நீங்க எல்லாம் கண்ணன் கடவுளை கும்பிட்டா, ஊரு ஜாதி சனம் புள்ளகுட்டி குடும்பம் கோயில் குளம்  எல்லாம் செழிப்பா இருக்கும்  தான.


அண்ணன் நான் சொல்றத கூட்டி கழிச்சு பார்த்தா கணக்கு சரியா வரும்.

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Srimathe Ramanujaya Namah! 

Dear Bhagavathaas, adiyen’s kind request. This forum is predominately for us to ask questions to Sri. Velukkudi Krishnan Swamigal and get Swami’s responses. We bhagavathas have shared responses based on Swami’s previous lectures at times. We all know Velukkudi Swami only repeats what is written in scriptures and what is said by our purvacharyars. While he has delivered 1000’s of lectures, he has never said anywhere that “this is my opinion”. He always refers to purvacharyars words like this upedesa rathina malai verse no. 71 

munnOr mozhindha muRai thappAmal kEttu
pinnOrndhu thAm adhanaip pEsAdhE  – tham nenjchil
thOtRinadhE solli  idhu sudhdha upadhEsavara
vAtRadhenbar  mUrkkarAvAr

முன்னோர் மொழிந்த முறை தப்பாமல் கேட்டு
பின்னோர்ந்து தாம் அதனைப் பேசாதே – தன் நெஞ்சில்
தோற்றினதே சொல்லி இது சுத்த உபதேசவர
வாற்றதென்பர் மூர்க்கர் ஆவார் 

Instead of learning the correct way of administering the spiritual practices of our purvacharyas from a qualified teacher, evaluating them, and communicating them in the exact fashion, if one resorts to propagating his own interpretation in the name of purvacharya instructions, such a person should be termed as a fool and be ignored.

Said that adiyen found the following enpani audios of our Swami reg. this subject for reference.

Number Title
37 Aadharsa Dampati
194 Purpose Of Marriage
247 Marriage And Population
253 _8 Types Of Marriages
254 Jataka Porutham
294 Avoid Divorce
322 Music Apt For Wedding Reception
354 Thirumaangalyam
387 Why Kalyanam For Deities
399 Bringing Up Children
419 What After Divorce
462 Do Men Share Household Work En Pani
465 Women To Be Protected why
509 Can Married Couple Stay In Different Locations
536 Marriage Season
551 Tirumangalyam
562 Why Marriage
585 Can We Share Wedding Expenses
626 During Pregnancy
643 Responsible House Hold Work
697 Both Working How To Devote Time
699 Love Marriage_ In Todays Context
730 A Suggestion To Husbands
967 சண்டைக்கு நடுவே கல்யாணம்
1016 Is It Wrong To Become Home Maker By Wasting Studies
1024 குழந்தை பெறுவது பாவமா
1045 Punishment For ILL treating Wife
1067 Can Husband And Wife Have Similar Codes
1139 Interesting Facts About Wedding
1144 Remarriage Adoption No Marriage
1151 இல்லத்தரசி
1227 கர்ப்பிணிகள் ப்ரார்த்திக்க வேண்டியது
1276 Bengal Bride Questions Tradition
1284 கன்யா தானம் என்பதால் பெண்களை இழிவு படுத்துவதா
1288 கல்யாண மந்திரங்கள் வீணானவையா
1523 திருமங்கல்யம் வேதத்தில் உண்டா
1651 கணவன் மனைவி இரண்டு வகை


குறை இருந்தால் அடியேனை க்ஷமிக்கவும். நிறைவாக இருந்தால் ஆச்சார்யர்களுக்கு பல்லாண்டு பாடவும்!


Excellent, Badrinarayana swamy! You have posted the most important message, and expressed it so beautifully.

May the words and guidance of our purvacharyas stay forever with us without any contamination by our own interpretations and opinions.


adiyen dasan.

on February 6, 2021


Srimathe Ramanujaya namah.


The point is well taken and thanks for indicating a sort of code to be followed for the forum. I am also in favour of such codes. It is even better to bring out with list of such codes to be adhered to. I was expecting responses on the content of the post rather than on “This is my personal opinion”. Hence, I mentioned that to avoid further queries and nothing else. I sensed your annoyance through the URM quote, I may be wrong, which could have been avoided.

Though, I do not want to add anything further, I would like to narrate what happened during bed time yesterday, after my post. This is not to get any sympathy nor asking to believe. I did not want to indicate here, but thought better to share, since it is my experience. Having got permission (mentally) from Ramanujar, I give it below.

I was wondering why I have posted, without knowing what exactly shastras say in this regard. I repented and sought forgiveness, from both to Narayanan and Ethiraraj, if there is any blemish on my part. I sought strength to refrain from frequent posting in this forum from Udaiyavar. In this process several points have crossed my mind in support of my post and went to sleep.

I woke up @ 4.00 am, within next few seconds following thought flashed in my mind. Ramanujar eased the procedure and paved way for “everyone” to become a vaishnavite. He has given six commands to be followed for the vaishnavite. The foremost one is reading and make others read SriBashyam, which he has written in Sanskrit. Now, these points are to be read together. Having paved way for everyone to become vaishnavite, wrote  SriBashyam in Sanskrit, asking him to read SriBashyam, is an indication of his permission to read Sanskrit by everyone, though he did not tell explicitly. If he does not want everyone to read Sanskrit, he would not have recommended reading SriBashyam.

Yes. I felt the power of the mantra “Srimathe Ramanujaya namah”.

I kindly request Sri. Velukkudi Krishnan swamy to excuse me, if I have done any mistake.

Having mentioned these, I kindly request the members to excuse if I have done any mistake.

I request Admin to delete all my postings in this thread after a couple of days, allowing the concerned members to go through the response. Also, I take this opportunity and request you to kindly come out with list of do’s and don’ts for the members to be followed, if it is not there. Many may not be aware about the details of such things. This will be helpful in the long run.



is an indication of his permission to read Sanskrit by everyoneFrom pd_jayaram

100% true swamy! தடையின்றி மொழி பரவ வேண்டும்; நடைமுறை பயன்பாட்டில் இருந்து நன்மை பயக்க வேண்டும்.


on February 6, 2021

PD_Jayaram Swami and other Bhagavathaas, adiyen’s intention wasn’t too pinpoint anyone specifically, as adiyen will be never eligible for that. We’ll make mistakes everyday (at least I do). As our Swami says, once we regret truly, Perumal forgives that. adiyen want to follow the follow the footsteps of Koorathalwan, who had the magnanimity of requesting moksha even for naalooraan and taking the blame on his fault finding attitude (which wasn’t the case) for losing his eyes. Adiyen wanted to remind the point of URM to adiyen also. But Main intention was like kambandandasan swami said the unwritten code we had been following in this forum has been working out so beautifully and let’s all enjoy the experience and knowledge by following that. Let’s all be parrots (analogy from swamis upanyasam) trying only to repeat what our Velukkudi swami and purvhacharyas have already spoken.


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Thank you very much Badrinarayan swami

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Thank you very much Badrinarayan swami

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2 on February 7, 2021

Srimate Ramaanujaye Namaha,

Badrinarayanan Swami, well noted  about your point to base our discussions based on what has been heard from acharayas and from scriptures.

In the subsequent posts in this thread you had indicated that this is already being followed int he forum, so why would this topic of discussion arise if it is already being followed?

In the past there has been few threads based on nostradamus predictions, theory of why tamil is the oldest etc.( i am not posting the links here, if required can post them). which are all i believe not based on any scriptural basis nor heard from acharayas.. so i would like your message to be echoed in such threads as well.. but perhaps because of certain other reasons depending on who posts, such topic of discussion did not arise then..

Also even when we quote based on what we hear , there is certain amount of  personal bias present based on how much we filter, 100 % same intensity of intent of the speaker is ideal but as practicing  bhakatas, i think we may not capture the essence 100%.. Then there is also time place and circumstance applicable, some times we may repeat what Velukkudi swami had said but which not may be appropriate to the person who is in the discussion.. So even if repeat like a parrot we cannot be free from faults… but yes agreed the chances or error are less but never zero.





on February 8, 2021

Totally agree Thirikachi Swami, that’s why adiyen said “We bhagavathas have shared responses based on Swami’s previous lectures at times.” Totally agree with Swami’s statement “but yes agreed the chances or error are less but never zero.”

on February 9, 2021

Srimathe Ramanujaya Namaha,

Namaskaram All Swami’s,

Some informations about “Opinion” which is applicable to everyone one of us.

Everyone has the right to say OPINION since we are different JeevAthmas having variation in different “LIKES” (vassanas, imprints of our actions deposited in our Mind), “TASTES” (Ruchi, tendency to do a action based on Vaasanaas), with additional variation of three Gunas (Satva, Good), (Rajas, Aggression), (Tamas, Ignorance). It depends up on our daily activity how each of them is going to Populate. So a wise Bhaktha understands their opinion, since that wise Bhakta has crossed all these situations with Acharya Krupai, while others may be in process of getting Acharya Krupai. But everyone has Acharya RamanujAr Krupai.

So here is what a wise Bhaktha (Acharya or Mahan or a devotee) would share about the concept of “OPINION” which matches or inclusive of “Learned Scholars (Acharyas/Mahans) teachings/propaganda.


The Best Way to Offer An Opinion On Anything:
Giving an opinion is a common way of interacting with other people in formal and informal settings. Unsolicited opinions may be unwelcome, but most leaders/scholars find themselves being asked to express an opinion fairly often—and those with a reputation for wisdom are asked constantly.


If you want to give your opinion and you want to be heard, one must follow these principles:


1) First, make sure that the situation warrants an opinion.
There are many cases where silence is the wiser path.


2) Ask yourself if you’re the best person for expressing the opinion.
People will always come to learned people for an opinion, but there may be someone else on your family—or even in another area (like a skilled devotee in a temple or nearby)—who is better qualified to respond. In those cases, you build more personal credibility by recommending someone else than by giving your own opinion.


3) Start by listening politely or reading it calmly.
Before you express your opinion make sure to listen. You’ll know exactly what’s being asked of you, you may learn more about the issue in the process, and the person doing the asking will be more engaged and receptive.


4) Think before you speak or react.
Before you open your mouth to say something or write something, take a step back and think through exactly what you’re going to say/write. Consider your tone and make sure your word choices leave as little room as possible for misunderstanding or trouble. Maintain a professional demeanor and be mindful of your body language. Same way setup your mind by taking a deep breathe before you write. After that, it may not be even necessary to write, since it was just Mind’s thought process due to a mix of our likings and not useful for anyone. But some cases, mind will determine to write it since you are not owner of those thoughts since those thoughts came from listening to a learned scholar, so those words that we say or write will be wise. In this case, we don’t need to take a step back if anyone opposses the statements, since it is due to their ignorance. They may think, we are adamant, but no need to compromise.


5) Make sure you have all the facts lined up before you speak or write.
Everyone has the right to express their opinion, but make sure to do your research and know the facts first. The more you know, the more you can put into words what you mean to say/write. If the research was already by a Learned scholar, then just post it referring it to the scholar name. If unsure of scholar name, but your gut says “I’m going to post it, since it is constructive”, then just post it without any worry, since Almighty GOD will back us up. Still in some cases, there are chances that one may not like the post, since it may be due to their attachment to a different preconceived answer, or due to envy in-case someone else praises the speaker or writer. In these cases, just ignore them, since you are not responsible for their thinking.


6) Say or Write what you think in a detailed, straightforward manner.
Provide as many relevant specifics as possible when you give an opinion to ensure that people fully understand your point of view. Focus on the who, what, when, and where of the situation to make a detailed statement of your opinion.


7) Use “I” statements with humbleness in general or “Adiyen” statements specifically if everyone can understand it.

“Adiyen” statements are powerful because they promote connection and don’t make the others feel alienated or excluded. People often state opinions in a way that makes them sound like facts—a habit that puts off the people they’re trying to persuade. A simple preface like “Adiyen think…” or “In adiyens experience…” can be all you need.


8) Provide the reasons for your point of view.
Provide reasons and build a case to support your point of view. Your opinion gains credibility when it’s backed up with solid data (authentic source).

Some phrases to consider using:

In adiyens opinion…

From adiyen point of view…

Adiyen would say…

Adiyen impression is…

Adiyen think…

Speaking personally…

Adiyen of the opinion that ….


8) Lead from within:
Everyone has their own ways of expressing their opinions and we all have something to say/write, but finding ways to say/write it effectively is crossing half the river.



Adiyen believe each one of us are following one or more or all of the steps while expressing the opinion, but a “REPETITIVE” practice of all the steps each and every time helps to mold our Body language,  Mind Steadiness and inturn Soul Peace (Athma Nimmadhi) due to Acharya ThiruvAdi Bhalam.


All positive things are due to the One common Almighty GOD grace. Supreme SriKrshina says in crisp in BG 13.8 thru12 about these steps in a different style and HE says lot more than these steps.



Adiyen (ElayaAlwar) Srinivasa (DhoddayAcharyar) Dasan.

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