Srimathe Ramanujaya Namaha,
Sri Velukkudi Krishnan Swami Guruve Namaha,
Related to the question, here is Sri Velukkudi Krishnan Swami-s Enpani 1328 “அன்று நண்பன் இன்று அர்ச்சகர், ஒருமையில் அழைக்கலாமா”.
Swami says “புத்திரர்கள் ஆகவுமாம்,சிஷ்யர்கள் ஆகவுமாம், பகவத் சம்பந்தம் உடையார் கௌரவவியர்கள் (Any Devotee whether own Child or a Shishya to be treated Respectfully, since the person has Sambhandham with BhagavAn)”.
We SHOULDNOT call them as “அவன் , இவன் , டேய், வாடா, போடா, வாடி , போடி etc…”. This is disrespectful even if they are childhood friends, we should call them with ethical language. Adiyen has seen many Brahmins (males) though treat their daughter with dignity, still call their daughter as “இங்க வாடி அப்பாவுக்கு இதை எடுத்து குடுடி”, these are embarrassing situations. What happens is, a 3rd person outside their family or a close relative who is coming in/out to their home, will also start using such language to that girl. So parent needs to call their son/daughter with respectable language at all times.
Otherwise, slowly the person starts developing more worse language which is not good for a family.
This type of FAMILY DISCIPLINE is needed for JeevAthmas.
BhagavAn is a separate category as “ParamAthma”.
In Sampradhayam the WORD “PERUMAL” represents SRIRAMA BhagavAn only, who is மரியாதை புருஷோத்தமன், ஸத்யஸந்தன் .
So, treating BhagavAn who is SWAMY to all JeevAthmas with same language (ஒருமையில் அழைப்பது), though BhagavAn is notching to react is STILL disrespectful and not acceptable by any pure devotee, since BhagavAn is common to all JeevAthmas.
If anyone has personal Intimate relationship with BhagavAn, then that is personal between them and cannot be exposed in public, since it will lead to treating BhagavAn as some ordinary person. First of all, We are not having Alwars bhakthi, so we cannot call BhagavAn as Avan-Ivan etc…
In Ramanuja Noorandhadhi 1st paasuram “Poonannu maadhu porundhiya Naarbhan……………………….solluvom AVAN Naamangalaey”. Adiyen don’t have Bhakthi as Swami ThiruArangathAmudhanaar to call Swami Ramanujar “AVAN naamangalaey”, so adiyen chant as “AVAR naamangalaey”.
It is primarily to bring some Thani Manidha Ozhukkam ( தனி மனித ஒழுக்கம் ) inside us.
As far as calling as “Ranganatha” instead of Perumal is acceptable since those come under naama sankeerthanam. Other Namaas like Govinda, Ramanuja etc….
Adiyen Sri Velukkudi Krishna Dasan,
Uyya Oraey Vazhi UdayavAr ThiruvAdi,
Sarvam SriKrishnarpanam Asthu.