Namaskaram Swami. Paadhabi Vandhanam.
First of all a Ton of Thanks for valuable speeches delivered through En-pani which makes me to understand Life’s Destination.
I have been listing EnPani regularly from past 6 months and I myself see a lot of deference on my behaviour.
I had so many doubts on my mind but i could not find the way where to post it to reach you. Today I came to know from en-pani. Thank you.
Many of my questions got answers while listening subsequent audios but following questions are still in my mind.
1) I am so clear and decided to do Panchasamskaram ASAP(Ready for this Moment). My Husband is not accepting now, I tried to convince lot and tried to make him understand the importance by playing Ramanujar History, He will listen for some time until he has patient and final he stands on same argument and he will say that we both will do Panchasamskaram after we cross 50 years and we should take care of our kid. I am 33 years old and i have a little Kid with 3.5 yrs old and he is not yet started talking, he can able to understand 10% of what we say to him. We are taking him to therapy, but I am happy that my kid behaves as very big devotee, he won’t like to return from temple, will take minimum of 20 pradakshans in temple each time will go, he used to play with Krishnan, Perumal photos and small statues, he will do Abishekam and Pooja with flowers and water for hours and hours if we left him alone, but we never taught him to do that. He started that from his 2 yrs. Before listening en-pani audios i though my Kid is my life time ambition, what ever i do, I think only for him. I am working as a Software Engineer in an MNC from past 10 years. I am working from home to take care my Kid. I will work on Night timings and I used to take my son to Occupation Therapy, Speech Therapy and Special Education in day timings, I am always with him and also managing my office work. Some times I think i would have left my job after my delivery to take care of him so that we avoid this situation, but started earning just for him and now spending all money to make him talk. He talks in one word and with actions. Now even i think i am not in the position to leave my job as we have so many commitments and interested to do dharma karyams. Anyway now I am taking care of my son as well as my job and left the responsibility to cure my son to LORD VENKATESWARA and not worrying on that but what ever I need to do I am doing for my kid and understand that all things are happening due to Praarabdha Karma and we need to accept it. This is my situation. My in-laws definitely not accept if i ask permission to do Saranagathi as we can not go for Kuladaivam temples, that is the main reason why my husband is not accepting. But I am not ready to take so many births just for them. I decided to face them.
2) I got some difficulty in delivery. My son born on 8th Month with 1.5 KG weight. My in-laws pray for Muniyandi swamy to provide two goats for Bali (Kedavettu). Now my son is now 3.5 years old but still they did not provided their offer. I have reminded them many times and also said i can provide money how much ever it needed. My Son suffered with dengue in one and half year and undergone one small surgery in one year 3 months. When my kids suffers my in-laws will say they will complete their Venduthal ASAP, but later they will ignore that. My Question is – will their negligence impacts my Kid’s health? If I provide money and ask them to complete their Vendudhal, will I be the reason to kill two Goats? Shall I leave it like when ever they do? I never went to such place till now and should not after saranagathi. What I can I do? All my family members finished their offers to LORD VENKATESWARA, by walking to Tirumala, Hair offering and Angapradhakshana in Tirumala.
3) Here is my question to avoid apacharam. After doing Saranagathi, we should do Pooja and provide Prasadam daily. How can ladies manage this on Periods timings. When I am the only person to cook, definitely we can’t offer this food to God. I can ask my husband to provide milk or fruites to God, but as you said we should also have only Kandarulapatta Prasadam which ladies suppose not to during Periods. Is there any way? If not I am ready to remove my Uterus to avoid any apacharam.
4) My kid can not wait until I finish Pooja, as soon as he wakes up he will get hungry so i will take him bath and will prepare anything quickly to feed him. if he is not eating which i have prepared, i will prepare another and another until he have enough food. I used to have the food whatever my kid left. Here my question is can I have the food left by Kid after doing Saranagathi. Offcourse the food given to my Kid is already shown to God.
5) My Husband and his parents eat Nonveg. I can’t even sit in same floor while they have. I kept separate vessels to them for nonVeg preparation. Is it Ok if they prepare in our home after I did Saranagathi? and When I go to my husbands native, there my in-laws are not maintaining separate vessels for nonVeg and not even taking bath before cooking. How can I manage after saranagathi?
6) My Kid also does not like NonVeg but my Husband forces my kid to have it by saying lie that its is a Veg(carrot). I don’t want my kid to have nonVeg as he does not wish but my husband scolding me. Do I have rights on my Kid to oppose my husband not to provide Nonveg to my Son? I can provide him other protein food.
7) I born and brought up in Andra and settled in chennai from past 10 years. I can only understand and talk simple sentence in Tamil. Downloaded Thirupavai in telugu lyrics and can sing upto 5 Pasurams. This itself takes me 15 days to understand and pronouns. After Saranagathi, I should read Thirupaavai, Thirupallandu, Nalayiram DivyaPrabandham, Kannanin Siruthambu etc… Hope Ramanujar Thirvadigal helps me to learn. But People are saying that “first you learn all these things and once you are ready then do Saranagathi otherwise that may leads to negative results”. If so I don’t know how many years it will take.
8) I also pray Shirdi Sai Baba along with LORD VENKATESWARA from my schooling. Can I still consider as Guru to reach Perumal after Saranagathi? In-fact his history says that he has tremendous belief in Vishnu Sahasranamam and asked people to learn.
9) Question on having Acharya for every one — Swamy, you said we should find an acharya within 6 months and get upadesam from him and do Kainkaryam to him. I don’t know anyone other than you. I am listening your upanyasam in internet and from En-Pani apps approximately 2 hrs per day. Before started listening your speeches i can’t even wait for 10 min than regular timings of taking food. Now I am able to do fasting for whole day in Yekadhasi by taking only water, not even getting hungry on this day. You are my acharya, can’t accept anyone else. Its my pleasure to do Kainkaryam for you. Please suggest and allow me anything to do for you.
10) Last Sandheham as of now, Don’t know what is in my husband’s mind to oppose my request to do Saranagathi. After Saranagathi, Can I have Udalrethi Sambandam with my husband if we plan for another kid?
Thanks for your patients to read such a long chain of sandheham. Who ever got this request, please don’t provide solutions by your own. Its my humble request, Please check with Sri Velukkudi Krishnan swami and then provide solutions.
Thanks a lot.