Srimate Raamaanujaaya Namaha!
This situation is very much relatable to adiyen. Adiyen will share certain things, based on what adiyen learnt.
In SrIvachana bhUshaNa dhivya SAsthram, in sUthrams 300 to 307, piLLai
lOKAchAryar explains that a SrIvaishNava must be asakthan (incapable to do) in the
following 4 matters:
akruthya karaNam – not indulging in what is rejected in SAsthram
bhagavath apachAram – apachArams in emperumAn’s vishayam
bhAgavatha apachAram – apachArams in bhAgavatha vishyam (devotees)
asahya apachAram – apachArams in bhagavath/bhAgavatha vishayam which
happen without any reason.
Under the category of akruthya karaNam, there is a restriction to do para sthOthram, which means “our speech ability is provided by emperumAn to praise him and
his adiyArs (devotees). It should never be used to praise avaishNavas.”
Under the category of bhagavath apachAram one of the restrictions is stated as follows:
“To consider emperumAn at the same level as dhEvathAntharams (other
dhEvathAs) – for a SrIvaishNava it is paramount to understand that emperumAn
is sarvESvaran, one who is the lord of every one (including brahmA, Siva, indhra,
varuNa, agni, etc) and he is the antharyAmi (one being inside everyone to control their
acts). There is no one equal to him or higher than him. With that understanding, we
should fully abstain from indulging in any relationship with dhEvathAntharams.”
This is the Sri Vaishnava understanding of certain things related to devareer’s question. However, sometimes people misunderstand these things and say that the Vaishnavas have “kurugiya kannOttam”. Best is to visit Perumal’s temples (this does not mean that we should disrespect the dhEvathAntharams), but sometimes we find ourselves in a difficult situation like devareer mentions.
But still devareer says that you chant “RamRam”. So this is still Sriman Narayana’s namams. So if devareer visits the temples of dhEvathAntharams, you are still chanting Bhagavan’s namams, and the dhevathAntharams will certainly feel glad hearing Bhagavan’s namams. This is also done by adiyen when I visit the temples of dhevathAntharams. If devareer has this understanding, I don’t think confusions would arise.
(P.S.: Adiyen shared what I read from a site called koyil.org, and the last 2 paragraphs are adiyen’s conclusions based on what I heard and learnt. Thavarugal irundhaal adiyen mannippu vendugiren).